Ahoy matey! Have ye ever been ditched by your friends because for whatever reason they did not like you? Perhaps they felt ye was hoggin' all the rum! What if they left you stranded in the middle of the ocean on a desert island, or worse, sitting atop a bobbing maritime buoy? How long do you think you could survive? The famous pirate Edward Englund, after being marooned along with a few of his companions managed to survive 4 months before constructing a small boat and sailing 932 miles across the Indian ocean to St. Augstines Bay in Madagascar. Marooning was a popular method of punishment amongst pirates and mutineers in the buccaneering days of tall ships, treasure maps and giant casks of ale. In so many words getting marooned generally meant you were the least popular amongst your crew of surly swashbucklers who felt it was in their best interest to discard you from their marauding vessel onto a small island or a sandbar at low tide. With a sarcastic farewell they would cast off and leave you confounded with nothing but inadequate provisions and your own thoughts to keep you company while you pass the time basking alone amidst the vast unbroken blue.

If you were left on a desert island what is one thing you would take to ensure your survival and sanity? Which issue of HAZMAT would you take with you?

So you like THRASH METAL? That must mean you have a strange affinity for toxic waste and radioactive mutation. The Cuyahoga River was once so contaminated with toxic sludge that it was deemed a fire hazard. In a Time magazine article it was also said that the Cuyahoga river "oozes rather than flows" and a person "does not drown but decays". Definitely not your ideal route to plan a college float trip. On June 22, 1969 one of the many steel mills situated along the shores of the Cuyahoga was apparently routinely dumping molten slag into the river-way when all of the sudden the goopy currents ignited into a scene reminiscent of Dantes Inferno. It was not the first time the Cuyahoga had erupted into fiery indigestion but it was the first time it caught national attention. The Cuyahoga blaze helped "spark" the Clean Water act.
Have you ever dumped hazardous contaminants into a natural waterway?

Strap up and strap in for the ride of your life by joining HAZMAT front row for the SPITS tomorrow night at the The Earl in East Atlanta Village. FREE HAZMATs if you can find the HAZMAN.

Doors @ 8PM.

Make like an Easter Bunny and hop on down to the EARL in East Atlanta Village this evening to join MANGLED and SHITFUCKER for a black mass mosh off alongside MIDNIGHT; the black metal trio from the haunted streets of Cleveland, OH. So lock up your wife and children and quit your job because after tonight you will have nothing to live for. The gates of madness open at 8 PM knuckleheads!

Welcome to primetime! From the printed page to the screen of your living room television set! It is HAZMAT Magazine like you have never seen it before. Change the channel, while you still can!!!

Straight to video.

What is the longest you have ever slept in for? Egyptian mummies had been resting for thousands of years before being discovered by archeologists and greedy grave raiders. 

Egyptian mummification was the ancient practice of treating and prepping the deceased to assure the souls well being for the afterlife. It was a sacred and extensive ritual surrounded by mystery and lore that to this day has astonished archeologists and has been a subject in many popular books, movies and even video games. The process of embalming was strenuous and involved everything from removing organs, drying out the body, treating it with special minerals and oils and also wrapping the corpse in hundreds of yards of linen. Depending on the social status of the deceased, an extravagant tomb was sometimes prepared and adorned with the finest riches of the land such as precious jewels, furniture, George Foreman grills, funerary scriptures, animals and anything necessary to accompany the spirit for the journey and rebirth into the afterlife. After a few ceremonial ramblings, random spells, the priest would say a few words, flutter his hands about and finally the mummy would be placed within the sarcophagus and sealed within his tomb for eternity. There he would begin his voyage to live among the stars before being reborn as a god or crocodile of some sort.

If you were a mummy, what is the one thing you would like to take with you into the afterlife?